RelationSHIPS

my desk if piled up with notes,
as I began cleaning and organizing them,
I just found this on my desk,
I do not know who it is from? for I did not write it but
if someone knows the author,
it would be great if they can share.

Destructive Characteristics for a relationship:
-the need to always be right.
-the need to be first in everything.
-the need to be constantly in control.
-the need to be perfect.
-the need to be loved by everyone.
-the need to possess.
-the need to be free of conflict and frustration.
-the need to manipulate.
-the need to blame.
-the need to dominate.

Here are the strategies to deal with such problems:
-we can deny that they exists.
-we can acknowledge their existence but avoid doing anything about them.
-we can harden oursselves against them and live with them.
-we can view them as irreversible and terminate the relationship.

OR

We can take them on as a challenge from which we may profit,
realizing that, over time, the more we have learned about problem-solving
in relating, the greater will be our ability to love each other.

it is hoped that most of us accept the last possibility for it seems the best and healthiest one.

check out something else I found, human virtues
treat others the way you would like to be treated;

Justly:you wouldn't want people lying about you or falsely/harshly condemning you, right?

loyal:you would not want your friends to betray you, right?

good sportsmanship:you wouldn't want to be hoodwinked or tricked, would you?

fair:you would want people to be fair in their dealings with you, right?

honesty:you would want people to be honest and not cheat you, correct?

kindness:you would want to be treated without cruelty, correct?

considerate:you would want people to be thoughtful about your rights and feelings, right?

compassionate:when your down you may want others to be more compassionate towards you, yes?

self control:instead of others blasting you, you would like others to understand, correct?

tolerant:If you have had any shortcomings or defects, you would want others to be more tolerant and less critical, yes?

forgiving:instead of people concentrating on censure and punishment, you would want people to be more forgiving, yes?

benevolent:you don't want people to be mean and stingy toward you, correct?

believe:you would want others to believe in you and not doubt you when they can, right?

respect:you would prefer for people to give you respect and not insult you, right?

possibly you would want others to be polite and and treat you with dignity, right?

you might like people to admire you?

you would like people to appreciate you?

you would like people to be friendly toward you?

from some you may just want love?

above all, you wouldn't want these people just pretending
these things, you would want them to be quite real in their attitudes
and expect integrity.

one can easily influence another, or others around him/her-
If one is not doing that already, it can be made much easier to do so
by just picking one or two of these virtues a day and specialize in practicing them
with those around us.

charity starts at home.

revolution starts within.

you can heal yourself and those around you,
the least amount of virtues you possess then the more you are possessed
by a core of hurt or a core of hate which is really unhealthy.

Treat Others The Way You Would Like To Be Treated
that is the secret.

like attracts like.

it is a human impulse that if one yells at someone, they will yell back
so
wouldn't it better and more of a pleasant living to treat others
the way you would like to be treated so they will treat you the same way back.

at first, it may take a while, habits are pretty hard to kick but
the results of both partners trying is well worth the effort and lasts a lifetime.



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